frequently asked questions
Q:
With The Muscle Engineers, you get the best of both worlds: top-tier muscle therapy and the convenience of never leaving your house. No traffic, no parking issues, and you can go straight from the massage table to your couch. Why would you want to sit in traffic after feelin' this good?
A:
What are the benefits of using The Muscle Engineers vs. going to a brick-and-mortar massage place?
Q:
Our 100-minute sessions give you 40% more time than the industry-standard 80-minute "90-minute" massages. That's like getting two 50-minute (yeah, that’s all you get when you pay for an hour at most places) sessions all rolled into one with us. This means more thorough work, better results, and fewer return trips for the same old problem. More time, more relief – it’s as simple as that.
A:
What are the benefits of longer massage sessions?
Q:
Relaxation-based therapists are great if you want to feel good for an hour or two, but our outcome-based therapists are like that friend who tells you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. We focus on long-term wellness, not just temporary relief. Because let's be honest, you deserve more than just a lotion rubdown.
A:
What’s the difference between relaxation-based therapists and our outcome-based therapists?
Q:
Our specialized therapies target chronic pain at its roots, offering lasting relief and improved mobility. Using our unique '3-Dimensional massage' and 'Muscle Engineering 2.0' techniques, we can retrain your muscles to eliminate pain. Think of it as teaching your muscles new tricks – and yes, old muscles can learn new tricks too!
A:
How can your services help with chronic pain?
Q:
Expect a thorough consultation where we get to know you, your lifestyle, and your pain points. Then, we work our magic for 100 minutes (1hr. 40 min.), focusing on what's hurting and what's not working. By the end, you’ll feel like a new person – or at the very least, a significantly less knotty one. Rome wasn't built in a day ya know!
A:
What should I expect during my first session?
Q:
For chronic issues, we recommend starting with our flagship 6-week program. After that, maintenance sessions every 2-4 weeks are ideal to keep those muscles happy. Think of it like a gym membership for your muscles: consistency is key, and the benefits are cumulative.
A:
How often should I book sessions?
Q:
Yes! Our 6 Weeks to Wellness program is designed to tackle chronic pain, improve performance, or give an overall wellness boost. It’s more than a package; it’s a life-improving journey. It’s like a boot camp for your muscles – but way more enjoyable and without all the sweat.
A:
Do you offer packages or programs?
Q:
We specialize in Sports Massage, Medical Massage, and Wellness Massage. Whether you’re an athlete looking to optimize performance or simply seeking to maintain a youthful glow, we’ve got you covered. Our sessions are custom-tailored to your needs because one size does not fit all – unless you're a mannequin.
A:
What types of massages do you offer?
Q:
Continuous education is one of our core values. Our therapists are encouraged and supported in gaining new certifications and attending workshops. Basically, we’re muscle nerds – and proud of it!
A:
How do your therapists stay up to date with the latest techniques?
Q:
Booking is a breeze. Click here, choose your desired service and time slot, and get ready for muscle freedom. It’s like ordering takeout, but for your muscles.
A:
How do I book an appointment?
Q:
Absolutely. We offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you’re not thrilled with your experience, we’ll make it right. Because your happiness is our mission – no ifs, ands, or Glutes about it. (Ask us if you don’t get the massage nerd pun!)
A:
Do you have a satisfaction guarantee?
Q:
We accept major credit cards, debit cards, HSA/FSA, Zelle, Venmo, Cash App.
Due to new management, we don’t take goats or chicken as payment anymore. Sorry ‘bout that!
Due to new management, we don’t take goats or chicken as payment anymore. Sorry ‘bout that!
A:
What types of payment do you accept?
Q:
We get it – life happens. Please let us know at least 24 hours in advance if you need to cancel or reschedule your appointment. Late cancellations or no-shows may incur a fee. We appreciate a heads-up – it helps us flex our scheduling muscles too.
A:
What is your cancellation policy?
Q:
Give us enough space in your home to move around. Think about moving around something the size of a twin bed.
We prefer a space downstairs - unless you've got an elevator. Hey, our equipment is kinda heavy!
-Make sure you've filled out your client intake form. It helps us formulate a plan to re-engineer you back to 'factory settings!'
Don’t forget to relax – we’re here to do the hard work for you. Think of it as prepping for a nap, but with way better results.
We prefer a space downstairs - unless you've got an elevator. Hey, our equipment is kinda heavy!
-Make sure you've filled out your client intake form. It helps us formulate a plan to re-engineer you back to 'factory settings!'
Don’t forget to relax – we’re here to do the hard work for you. Think of it as prepping for a nap, but with way better results.
A:
What do I need to do to prepare for my appointment?
Q:
Yes, we do! We’ve got you covered. We have 2 options: you can have one therapist work on both people back-to-back (preferred), or if you want 2 therapists, give us a few days' notice and we’ll send them both. Because sharing is caring – especially when it comes to massages. Double the relaxation, double the fun!
